Entitled Expectations

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Expectations is the offering that one gives you in hopes that you will live up to a commitment. Expectations are sometimes a choice and other times a birthright. As an American we’re expected to follow laws. As a religions being we’re expected to follow our beliefs. A mother’s expected to love and care for her children. As an employee you’re expected to uphold policies. As a teammate you are expected to work together. Do you get my point?

The question is to what extent do people hold their expectations. The person or institution that is providing expectations may hold it to a higher standard than another. We are all different. Our motivation and dedication levels not vary in extremity from one person to the next. Not to mention the variables that play in our lives and personalities that cause each of us to care more about one thing over another.

These expectations are a good and/or bad thing for some people. You have your rebels that don’t want to go with the flow; forgive and forget. Then there are those who want to be consistent and reliable. Everyone else is in the middle of these two. I’m the later.

Some days expectations are too much to think about and deliver. Some days or months I suffer from expectations that are higher than I deemed I could take on. Easy Street was a very short journey a long time ago and since I learned to converse with people I have found more expectations to bide upon my time. They become distracting to the reality at hand. It as if I have been given blinders and the expectation is that I focus on nothing but this task.

Keeping up with any expectations is tiring. I wake up some days and I wonder how am I going to do this. Today I even thought about how nice it would be to one day live out my life. Close my eyes then never wake leaving me in a blissful state of hibernation between my heart and mind. Then I wake up and remind myself that there is more to everything and I’m being blindsided by my goals. When expectations shield  us we forget two things at times; the will to relish in one’s glory of hard work before we’re congratulated and the little things that we should be proud of even when we neglected to meet goals or expectations.

It is difficult to let people down. Even more difficult to let yourself down if you ever cared enough to invest in your own opinion. The fact that I can possibly disappoint anyone with my actions devastates me. It is hard to look them in the eye and sometimes I obsess over the details and what I could have done in case time travel becomes possible. The worst expectations to let down are the ones imposed upon myself. Those expectations leave me in obsession that causes black days. As soon as I get away from all the people who I have to hold a smile for and keep up an attitude I go to my escape. I sit in a dark room and flip through channels of TV until I finally break down and write about my woes then tell myself to get over it.

I’m pretty mean to myself but it seems to work for me. I find it works more when I tell myself that I’m being a baby. That while I’m upset at myself I am neglecting to accomplish other things. That’s when it hits me. The world is still going round. Day and night still come and go. People pick up the pieces and carry on with what little life they have been given on earth and find a way to cope so they can make a difference in their life. For life is precious and everyday we have is one day we are given to make a difference in how we feel about ourselves and how our actions affect others.

Being sad has to end. It is okay to mope and vent but it can’t overtake the days of your life. Think about your problem. Can it be solved? If it can then what are you doing sitting around???? Get to work! If it can’t then you need to give yourself a moment to grieve. However you must limit it based on the severity of the issue and the extent of damage you or it caused. Then move on because tomorrow is waiting for you to take charge. Tomorrow longs to be that memorable day when future you stops to remember why you love tomorrow every time life gets you down.

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