When times are hard and people wrong us there are always friends using comforting words of so called wisdom: Things will get better. They will get theirs. Karma is a bitch.
Is this true? I don’t know. It is as nice of a sentiment as all dogs go to heaven. The issue I run into is that I am a realist. I don’t expect anything good to happen unless I can be in control of it. So when it comes to these supposedly wise sayings about things getting better I don’t buy it. Just like religion, I hope it is true but there is no guarantee.
Life is hard and everyone around you has the chance to make it harder. Some take you up on that. If you allow them they will make your life miserable just by association. You remind yourself that the grass is always greener on the other side because sometimes it is brighter than your darkest moments in life.
So where is my hope? If I don’t believe that people will get theirs in the end then how on earth can I go on living sanely. Instead I think about me and try to forget those who have wronged me and the issues they created. “How can I live with myself at the end of the day?”, is a question I ponder. People can think and do what they want and you are forced to live with that; but if you can’t live with your actions then who are you?
I have one moral guideline that drives my actions. Do to others as you would have them do to you. That doesn’t mean I expect people to treat me the way I want to be treated, it means that I do what I can live with and in the end my actions have no regrets that will haunt me. If you let other people’s actions control you there will be nothing left but a shell driven by madness; and then they win.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt, ‘This Is My Story,’ 1937