Every Day Is Exactly The Same

Music speaks to you just like the written word. Every day is exactly the same by Nine Inch Nails affected my life during the most stressed experience I ever had with my current job.

Like most, I get really tired doing the same things over and over for years in an industry that offers me no personal gratification. I didn’t always feel like this. I have worked in retail for 10 years and sales retail for almost 6 years now. I think what killed it for me is when they moved me to one of the busiest stores in Atlanta. I used to work in small stores where I could get to know people and I had customers that would show appreciation when I assisted them. I may of not loved my job then, but I felt like I was making a difference in people’s lives.

There was a time in my life after I had gone through a promotion that tore at me. I was working up to 70 hours a week. It was difficult because I had a new role and i could no longer have friends at the workplace like I previously did. The clientele was different and they were demanding compared to where I had come from previously. So I didn’t have time to hang out with my friends and I couldn’t make any at work. My family was going through their usual drama so that always gnawed on me. This stress and time-consuming job took away the one thing that I loved. Writing.

My character Cedric had a life that I could escape to. He had a life that I could live vicariously through. However I didn’t have time for him between work and daily routines. I think in 4 months I was only able to write 10 pages. I was so desperate to find my happy place again that I would leave the store on my break, and instead of eating I just wrote by hand. (Something about writing from hand when I’m stressed seems to ease my mind. Really helps with writer’s block. My mind thinks so fast and so do my fingers on a keyboard, but writing takes more time and it causes me to think slower or less. lol)

On a hard day of work I would listen to this song and it reminded me of the only thing that kept me in that job. Every one has bad days. That can change.

I believe I can see the future

Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I’ve been told
I really don’t want them to come around
Oh, no

[Chorus:]
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I’m happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can’t remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end

[Chorus]

I’m writing on a little piece of paper
I’m hoping someday you might find
Well I’ll hide it behind something
They won’t look behind
I’m still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don’t know, I don’t know what else I can do

[Chorus x2]


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